Overcoming Self-Sabotage in the New Year


The new year is upon us, and the “resolution bug” bites us with the promise of glorious health, grand riches, and perfect relationships.  Then, sometime before March, reality sets in.

You wanted to lose that 20 pounds, get the ideal job, find the perfect life mate, and get out of debt.  But somehow progress is slow or nonexistent, and before you know it, Thanksgiving arrives and you have nothing to show for your (by now) forgotten resolutions.

Why is this?  Why do we sabotage ourselves? Why does self-sabotage slowly ruin our best-laid plans?? Is it laziness?  Partly.  Lack of willpower?  Might be.  Forces beyond our control?  Could be.

The main culprit, however, is far more subtle and powerful than we could imagine.   This culprit?  . . . . a second “self.”

That’s right.  There is another “self” in there with you! While your so-called ego self is the one who speaks and makes logical decisions (and resolutions), it is powerless without its twin, the inner self.

This inner self (or force) was even given a name by the ancients:  Ka by the Egyptians, Chi by the Chinese, Ki by Japanese, and Ku or Unihipili by the Hawaiian Kahunas. They speak of this self as one who does not speak, but embodies the senses, memory, and driving force required to accomplish anything.

strokebookEven modern brain scientists understand the profound impact of this  silent self.  Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD wrote in her book My Stroke of Insight how her own stroke experience revealed the power of her right brain, and that this entity exhibited, in her words, “different values” than those of her left brain self.

I’ve discovered that we can apply Newton’s Third Law of Motion to relationships with other people . . . and with our hidden self!  This Law states that  for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

By ignoring the integrity of this being, i.e., NOT treating this being as a separate and distinct self,  we westerners are missing half (or more) of our ability to accomplish our goals and dreams.  So long as we try to program, hypnotize, manipulate, or otherwise control “our subconscious,” it will just fight back.

This self knows ALL our tricks, remember?   The “equal and opposite reaction” is this:  the more we ignore this being and try to reach our goals without his or her support, the less certain we will succeed.

So long as we see ourselves as “individuals,” i.e., undivided beings, we will continue to buy into the illusion that this hidden self is really only a part of what we consider “us,” and has no abilities outside of what we “program” it to do!

Begin to speak the language of your hidden self and you can begin to influence its behavior.  Find out what he/she needs, then act to give that.  Otherwise, you will always be a “victim” of self-sabotage since this hidden self is not on board with your wishes!

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